To say that I have been having mood swings will be an understatement. If I am happy at noon after an unexpectedly satisfying lunch, I am in the doldrums at night. I will be cracking my head over some assignment due the next day. It is scary - the phase I am going through right now. I even suspected that there was something wrong with me and took 'Are You suffering from a Bipolar disorder?' tests online. The results were positive!
When I disclosed my suspicions to my sister who is a medical student, she was nonchalant, saying that it runs in the family. Like that would cure me!
Then, one not-so fine day, I was telling my b-friend about my dilemma, a bipolar disorder that is like a premature mid-life crisis. And he retorted that it was more like quarter-life crisis considering that I am technically 21. (why technical? Because I feel older in spirit and yet so much more younger in terms of accepting realities.)
It just struck my mind and refused to let go. I could empathise with Mr. Archimedes who ran naked after discovering the intricacies of buoyancy. I had finally figured out what was wrong with me! Yipppppppppeeee!!
Needless to say, the happiness was short-lived. Just because I realise I have terminal illness does not mean that I am cured from it - a single logic that defines my life at the moment.
Is there an invisible line that is intellligent enough to realise when you have reached your 20s and places it at your foot so that you cross it to life-changing consequences?
I cannot see it. Maybe that is because it is invisible. Just like the ravages on my mind and the frustration pangs that reverberates through my body and soul.
1 comment:
I know what you mean about this quarter-life crisis. I was having one today myself. As long as you keep what you want clear, the whole bipolar feeling should be at the sidelines. :)
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