When is it time to delete your ex from Facebook?

Contrary to what you had thought, your happy ending is not with a certain someone. And you are kind of okay with it. But that does not mean you want to see his happy ending pasted right across your face, and your Facebook page.

So, is it time to cut the romantic relationship version of the umbilical cord? Erase him permanently, through the virtual networks? 

It is, I think, if:

a) You cannot stop snooping on his profile at least five times in five hours, and it is not making you feel better.

b) You type a message on his wall, and then backspace it.

c) Your statuses are getting more bitter, and someone else had to point it out to you.

d) His profile is the most visited page on your computer.

e) You are dreading the day Facebook launches the 'see who visited your profile' option.

f) You are keeping tabs on his active love life.

g) You don't have a love life, or a love, or life.

h) You did not notice how cute the boy standing next to you in the queue was because you were busy snooping.

i) Your friend suspects the cute boy was trying to talk to you.

j) Your Facebook password still is the name of the place where you went on your first date.

k) You are yet to change your relationship status despite knowing you are not getting back together.

l)  You are almost tempted to take the 'Who is your soulmate' quiz on Facebook.

m) You feel like a stalker, the creepy sort against whom a restraining order would be given in the real world.

n) You burst out crying looking at his profile picture.

o) The pics of your trips together keep popping up like bad tomatoes in the Photo Memories section in the top right hand corner of the page. 

p) You feel like pulling his sunglasses off, and stomping them into tiny shards of glass - something similar to what he did to your heart.

q) Unfortunately, you hate violence.

r) You are too lazy to actually stomp it, or even pull it off his face.

s) The thought of seeing him again makes you feel sick in the pit of your stomach.

t) You are glad it is over.

u) You are waiting for what's around the corner, fourteen miles down the road.

w) You could empathise with Robin in the How I Met Your Mother episode where she leaves violent voice messages on her ex, Don's phone.

x) A lightbulb struck in your head when she erased his number from her phone.

y) When she finally forgot Don's number, you felt hopeful for yourself, even though you know you have a photgraphic memory when it comes to numbers.

z) You'd rather be Robin in a good and actually funny sitcom than the creepy stalker female who gets killed at the end in a really bad thriller.

Disclaimer: Most of this is not autobiographical. (wink)