Textual doodle

I wrote this during an exceptionally boring torturous ordeal called a 'class'. Got passed around the class and all of us had a tough time keeping a straight face.
Boredom – a poem
Sitting in a crowd
Not hearing a single word
My mind remains blank
I don’t need to take this crap
There are better things I can do
Like...
Fly over the mountains
Dive into the sea
Dance in the rain
Roll on the grass
My imagination is running wild
This class seems so tame
I wish I could open the door
Run off to a better place
And never come back
To this class.
Everyone else feels the same as I do
Yet we are prisoners in a
Cell with an unlocked door
My bum is glued to my chair
I wish there was a fire alarm
That could clang and
We would all run out and hide
For three whole days
Until ‘she’ leaves
She is digging her nose
Talking some gibberish
Whatever she is saying,
I know it is not English
Worse than Greek or Latin
Should I pull out my hair?
Going out of my mind
Want to scream so loud
The wind is howling
The telephone is ringing in the opposite room
The world is protesting with us
Raise your voice
Lift your bum
Run Out. Rush out. Of this class. The torture has to end. Very soon. Really soon. Like NOW!!!
- A tortured student
Class I – 08/08/08

And then, some more

So, I was at work, thinking how I don't want many things - just a little more than I have right now. So wrote this song. Kinda smarmy and eoow, am sure I'll b embarrassed reading it later. But what the heck? Here I go:

To be born again
to become someone better,
a person who matters,
and then, some more

I don’t want riches,
enough to tide me over,
to buy comfy clothes and bit of
tasty food,
and then, some more

Wanting another chance,
Some time to do all the things
I ever wished to do
and then, some more

I don’t want fame,
respect is too much to ask
a little appreciation wouldn’t hurt though,
and then, some more

No knight in shining armour,
a loving heart, a caring touch will do
a special smile just for me,
and then, some more

Wanting another chance,
Some time to do all the things
I ever wished to do
and then, some more

"Book"ed

Finally, after five years, I am out of my ebook phase. My eyes are the happiest at this news. I owe many of the excruciating backaches and eye sores to this phase where I would download ebooks and gobble them all. I would lie down, holding my laptop like a book. Many of my avid book-lover friends would ask with a disgusted cheated look, "How can you read from the laptop?"

My reply would be that I do not have to pay for the books. But lately, my  eyes have refused to tolerate the strain I have been putting them under. More than that, I should credit my falling out of the ebook phase to two paperback books I happened to read. I enjoyed them more because it was there in my hand and there is a special joy in having the freedom to turn the pages. Also, I can hide my novels inside my notebook and read in boring classes.

In the last week, I have read Chuck Palahnuik's Fight Club and Janet Tashijan's The Gospel According to Larry. After all the romantic bullshit I have been reading in the past few years, these books were a welcome welcome change. I feel as though my son has come back from "vidhesh" after an year or so.

I had not seen the Fight Club movie. I was never intriguied enough to see it. Now, after reading the book, I do not want to see the movie even though I have it on the best authority that the  film is also great. But nothing can compare to the words in the  novel - they are so alive and visual that I have already seen the film in my mind. The book reads more like a screenplay.

And the concept Palahnuik has brought into the fore is so simple that it is awe-inspiring. Self-destruction being the key to mental peace rather than the stupid pointless self-improvement books and classes and meditation. 

The mechanic says in the book, after rampant road rage, "You had a near-life experience". 

That death is the closest you can get to life.

Poignant and soo beautiful.

Not surprisingly, I am looking forward to gobbling down the next Palahnuik book.

The second book I read was Janet Tashjian's Gospel According to Larry (got nice cover as well). A funny philosophical story that comes out as very plausible. It is story of Josh Swensen, a super-intelligent teenager in love with his best friend and who talks to his dead mother  at the makeup counter of Bloomingdale's. A  quiet unassuming humorous guy who is also Larry, an anti-consumerist alterego he created on the Internet just as a project and that goes on to become a national phenomenon. The book's USP is its character who genuinely wants to contribute to the world and how you can see yourself in him and him in everyone. We grow as the character gains wisdom with his strange yet every-day experiences. Smartly written with lots of laugh-out-loud moments. Hoping to get the two sequels as well.

Presently reading Arvind Adiga's The White Tiger.

The fact that in under a month, I have to start and finish the following, is not helping my newly re-found love for paperbacks and hardcovers:

1. Dissertation

2. Three projects

3. Assignment on religious ideologies in politics

4. syllabus report

5. Three tests

6. News bulletin

Special thanks to Shri Priya [For Fight Club and the White Tiger and Landmark (for the sale!!!!)]

Lost? Waiting for something? You are alive

I realised something today. Maybe, all of us know it since birth. Just that the day it strikes us in full momentum differs and may take years. For me, the day was today.

I figured about what most of life is about. 

You are always searching for something. 

You are always waiting for something.

Mostly, you don't get to find what you have been looking for or eagerly awaiting. More often than not, you don't even know what you want and/or need. 

But sometimes, without realising, by chance or by choice, you reach the perfect destination at the right time. Along the way, you meet wonderful beings and experience new things that teach you and change you. Some things and people, you lose along the way. Others share a part of your journey - searching and waiting.

Maybe, the things and people we search and wait for are not what we need. It is what our search and wait throws up that makes life a gift to live. What if we never get to live the "perfect dream"?

Perfection is over-rated anyways. I'd rather crib about an imperfect life rather than sitting content, with nothing to rant about.

i am happy with my imperfect life. because it is perfect for me.

 

Positive Multiple Lives Syndrome (PMLS): Multiple lives in parallel time-frame

Disclaimer: I am not, contrary to the text displayed below, chronically unhappy with my life. I am content with my understanding eccentric family and my circles of friends. I am looking forward to growing old and grumpy in the presence of a special someone. The scenario explained in this post is the manifestation of a game played by Procrastination with his (yes, Procrastination is male, duh) cousins, Wishful Thinking, What-If and Day Dreaming.   

I have one life. And I have not done anything about it. Ever. 

I have one life. And I have not done anything about it. Yet.

But that does not stop me from wishing I had multiple lives at the same time so that I could devote time to whatever I wanted to. I will be graduating this April insha allah and become a certified "working woman". Though I'd enjoy the work, I do not care at all for the adult tag that comes free with job and responsibilities.

I want to work. But I am not ready to stop being a formal student. So I figured if multiple lives in parallel time-frame was possible, I could fulfil my desires and not wait till I have money in the bank balance or few grey hairs.

With Life A, I would work as a journalist in the Middle-East.

With Life B, I would work in documentary production.

With Life C, I would write a romance novel.

With Life D, I would study astronomy.

With Life E, I would learn languages such as Latin and Arabic.

With Life F, I would write a screenplay that would, of course, be made into an acclaimed film.

With Life G, I would study international relations and political science.

With Life H, I would travel all around the world and meet wonderful people and places.

With Life I, I would simply vegetate at home, sitting idle.

With Life J, I would marry soon, have well-behaved potty-trained children, irritate hubby, take care of my parents and siblings and gossip about the neighbourhood, matchmake and play pranks as a grandma.

With Life K, I would learn everything there is to about archaeology and re-visit history.

With Life L, I would study Physics as it has been one of my deepest regrets that I never devoted any attention to the subject in school and when I attempted to study it properly the day before my XIIth boards, I enjoyed it immensely!

In the past few minutes, I have found 12 lives I would not mind living if parallel lives were possible.

I may be able to attempt all these activities in this lifetime but I will not be able to do justice to all if I do it at the same time. And I want to do it now, not after retirement or my premature death.

My practical side reminds me that this is an impossibility. In that circumstance, it suffices to say that the one life in the one time-frame I am leading is also an enviable one and I am eternally grateful for that as well.

(Pssst...I thought of a Life M..or maybe a replacement for Life A...Make multiple lives in parallel time-frames a reality...)

Defining Nothing

N O T H I N G means no thing.
If I ask you what is running on your mind right now, you might panic and try to get rid of the "lunatic" by saying "nothing"..i e no thing..and you would expect me to be satisfied with that.
Yeah Right.
'Nothing' is an understated word that blatantly mocks the listener. What the utterer(?) actually means by 'nothing' is that it is not a thing. It is something bigger and impressive than a mere "thing".
Next time when someone says "Nothing", think again before moving away. Maybe they are hinting at some larger scheme of feelings and emotions and reality that the phrase "no thing" can't justify.
I think the problem lies with the question..You ask "What is the matter?"
Matter...?
Matter, according to Wiki sources, "is commonly defined as the substance of which physical objects are composed, not counting the contribution of various energy or force-fields, which are not usually considered to be matter per se (though they may contribute to the mass of objects). "
Matter is Physics.
Physics might be real.
But
Physics is not Physical or okay, I admit, maybe it is.
But Physics is not Mental or Emotional or Psychological.

That's why you get blank teary-eyed faces vehemently denying any "matter" because what is troubling them is not physical; it is far more pervasive into their inner being which is not 'matter'.
So change the question. Say something like "What is troubling you?"
Hmmm. Or better still, just look at the troubled face and let your imagination run wild. Mayybe, the person fell in love with an alien that had abducted her but she figured out that the alien belonged to her gender.
Okay, that is NOT entertaining. Cut it Out.
I have a really really good idea. When you look at a plagued soul and questions crowd your mind as to why the droopy face and how to offer comfort, just look away.
I assure you, it is "no thing". Best to stay away from "nothing".
Are you thinking what is wrong with me???
Nothing...I assure you..Nothing at all..

Being a part of history - part II

It is uncanny how you come face-to-face in recent times with scenarios that might have taken place in the wildest of your imagination or only in corny pseudo-techie Hollywood and Bollywood movies. The past and the future has caught up with the present. Terror and fear are emotions you encounter every other day. Suprise large-scale attacks are the way of life now.

As my friend Julie says, pirates were what you heard of and had relegated to the recesses of your mind as a whimsical notion of the olden ages. The Somali pirates, unequipped with technology and bogged down with poverty, have revived the art that had since transformed into a romantic profession with films such as Pirates of the Caribbean. Johnny Depp might have been adorable as Captain Jack Sparrow. But the lives lost and ships held hostage in the Gulf Seas remind us that ages ago, pirates marauded ships and its occupants for wealth. A lost legend has become a very real risk potential.

This is the 21st century. Terror attacks were something that happened a long, long way away from you. Globalization has brought terror closer to you. The names of places you see screaming at you from television news screens and newspaper headlines are places you regularly visit, have randomly passed through or used to live in. Security measures at airports and malls are something we take for granted. No one ever consciously thought that security at high-end places could be breached so easily. No one ever thought about it, period.

But someone somewhere in the world did think of it and researched enough to figure out that the safety at posh places are over-rated. The Taj, Oberoi and Trident Hotels were attacked in Mumbai on Nov 26th 2008. Simultaneously, the Cama and GM Hospitals were also invaded. Nariman House was captured. There were blasts at different locations throughout South Mumbai including the age-old Victoria Terminus a.k.a the Chatrapati Sivaji Terminus Railway Station. Terrorists randomly fired at passersby on the roads. They had entered the city by sea all the way from Pakistan.

They knew what we did not know. They cared enough about what we never paid a second though to, albeit to disastrous consequences. How did a gang laden with explosives come all those miles undetected and unsuspected? How did they breach the security in place at five-star hotels? How could they have had the gall to roam around the city, firing randomly and determinedly?

How?

This is the question on everyone's heads.

What about the WHY?

Power games and extremism have evolving and growing rapidly in this New Age of liberalism.

Most importantly,

What Now?

Do I have to steer clear of five-star hotels now? Should I stop my loved ones from visiting places that might be attacked? Will I have to duck whenever I see a vehicle speeding along the road? Should I always be on edge, wondering the place I am at is the next on the hit-list of the terrorists? Ought I blame the complacency of the security agencies in the country? Will praying for new stringent safety regulations suffice? Will being prepared make me a suspicious wreck unable to enjoy peace anymore? Can I make myself go along, leading a normal life?

Mumbaikars are renowned for their spirit that has never been broken by any terror attacks on their beloved Bombay. But there is a limit for tolerance and acceptance. Will this prove to be the last thread holding the fragile future of India's commercial capital?

I pray not. I pray that this never happens again anywhere in the world. I pray that the terrorists are defeated so badly that no other anti-social element will even contemplate the idea.

If only I could turn a deaf ear to the voice that incessantly whispers within me..."It is too late"...

But then again, another voice replies softly..."There is always hope for the better. "

May the world wake up on time so that they can sleep in peace..Ameen..

Being a part of history

History had always seemed something alien—text you read in school books and part of the reminiscences from our elders. Yesterday, as Barack Hussein Obama became the first black American President-elect, I felt a sense of being a part of history being made. Not just in terms of the U.S. The world is moving and progressing (a relative and subjective context) at such a fast pace that the geniuses I read are actually alive and some pass away in my lifetime. I read copies written by Paul Krugman, Thomas Friedman, Pico Iyer and who-not. Years later or okay, maybe not so many years later, the younger generation will learn about Paul Krugman’s Nobel Prize, Thomas Friedman’s ‘flat world’ and I will feel ridiculously old (An exaggeration since I might most probably be dead by then or too old to care.)

The conflicts that are happening across the world, from Georgia to Lebanon, from Timbucktoo to Jhumri Talaiya, are the deciding factors in the polarity of the world. The bipolar era of the Cold War which had ended in 1990 to become a unipolar era dominated by the U.S. has made way for a new age multi-polar way of life and governance. And to think that I was alive during all these crucial shifts of polarity.

Today, the Second World War might seem like a forgotten event of the past. But twenty years hence, I say that I was born forty one years after the end of the war and will emerge as an almost-witness to that devastating experience. I know that it does not actually have much of an impact as my father was born four years after 1945 and I do not think that the war occupies much of his mind space, if at all.

I raise a toast to myself and the inmates of my generation – we are all history in the making, if we choose to be.

The moment Dinaz fell in love - Dream I

I have decided to chronicle all my dreams, compile it all in a folder and let a psychologist have a field day with it. So as of now, my third semester exams are going on or should I say, down?? There is a power crisis on campus and it affects us since we are on a residential campus (some random Symbi family member's sadistical idea to mint money at the expense of hapless students). Needless to say, these are tough times. But that is another story for some other time.

So I was asleep after a long, tiring day. And I dreamt and dreamt....

Fade In..

Shri Priya*, Julie** and I are in a small room. A tiny cabinet in the corner catches fire. And it is no normal flurry of blazes. It was very much similar to the SFX fire seen in B-grade series such as Shaktimaan***. I get startled and look at the other two. They are lost in their own conversations. I realise that the door is the only route to escape and look towards to it. Unfortunately, the same SFX-esque fire is blazing on the door handle!!! How do we get out? Will we roast to death?

Fade out..

Fade In..

College set in the jungles (a little less civilized than the hilly terrain my actual campus**** is set on). There is a railway track that goes through the jungle. And there is a railway tunnel snaking along near the campus. But there are no railway stations.

The only way to get into the train is to wait for the train to come hooting out of the tunnel and jump out, grab the railing quickly and hop onto the boards. I did it in my dream or rather, my 'third eye' did. It sees Dinaz***** standing near the footboard of the train, silent and pensive. A young boy, the prankster of his class, his attitude proclaims, is swinging on the pole on the opposite footboards. He is in his school uniform. Dinaz keeps staring at the boy. The boy is oblivious.

And a voice-over fades in out of nowhere:

"That was the moment Dinaz fell in love."

(I remember wondering what a VO was doing in my dream. I forget the rest of the dream. :( )

* the HOT temperamental practical passionate intellectual in the journalism class

** my super cute zaxxyy roomieee

*** Lavale Symbiosis Knowledge Village: mannah for corporates, corporates and corporates

**** my classmate and contact-point in the chain of passing msgs when classes are scheduled, postponed or cancelled.

Quarter-Life crisis and Moi

                                                                                                           

To say that I have been having mood swings will be an understatement. If I am happy at noon after an unexpectedly satisfying lunch, I am in the doldrums at night. I will be cracking my head over some assignment due the next day. It is scary - the phase I am going through right now. I even suspected that there was something wrong with me and took 'Are You suffering from a Bipolar disorder?' tests online. The results were positive!

When I disclosed my suspicions to my sister who is a medical student, she was nonchalant, saying that it runs in the family. Like that would cure me! 

Then, one not-so fine day, I was telling my b-friend about my dilemma, a bipolar disorder that is like a premature mid-life crisis. And he retorted that it was more like quarter-life crisis considering that I am technically 21. (why technical? Because I feel older in spirit and yet so much more younger in terms of accepting realities.)

It just struck my mind and refused to let go. I could empathise with Mr. Archimedes who ran naked after discovering the intricacies of buoyancy. I had finally figured out what was wrong with me! Yipppppppppeeee!! 

Needless to say, the happiness was short-lived. Just because I realise I have terminal illness does not mean that I am cured from it - a single logic that defines my life at the moment.

Is there an invisible line that is intellligent enough to realise when you have reached your 20s and places it at your foot so that you cross it to life-changing consequences?

I cannot see it. Maybe that is because it is invisible. Just like the ravages on my mind and the frustration pangs that reverberates through my body and soul. 

Believing in the ideals of conflict-sensitive journalism

I used to be a cynic.

Atleast, I thought I was.

Then, I realised I was not.

Because I still believe

impossible is a few steps away

The walk ahead might be tough

but if you begin today,

you will reach someday.

Anyone who says otherwise

has lost hope and heart

And that is the greatest tragedy of all.

Things I intend to write (and I will do it..someday..soon)

1) How a Spanish or italian accent is considered sexy and charming but an Indian accent is looked down upon, especially by Indians themselves.
2) Chick-lit (I have already written the opening sentence).
3) Book on Nothing
4) Whether India is ready for Knowledge Villages
5) Mainstreaming Risk Reduction in Agriculture

I solemnly pledge to fulfil few or all of the above stated intentions

My book - Little Ado over Everything

I have decided to write a book. It will be about nothing. Everyone is so hyped up about everything that they should realise that everything is not everything. Sometimes, everything is nothing and nothing can be everything.
When a 'serious author' writes a book, he has a specific structure in mind: concept, flow, etc, etc. What happens when you put pen to paper or rather, finger to keyboard not knowing what you will churn out after hours/minutes at the keyboard.
If I write a book about nothing thining and worrying about everything, I lose the entire concept of the book and its ideals. I will be practising what I preach.
I wish myself all the best.
Let Nothing come to Mind.

Blah-g

jus figured out something...
technically, web + log = blog
practically, blah + log = blah-g ~ blog.
blog is where ppl like me come to say blah stuff and 'blah'ber ~ blabber..so instead of blogging, you should say I am blah-ging..makes more sense..
So there..
With my luck, I m sure that my discovery is cupla centuries late..*sigh*

Human Hibernation - The ideal solution for the worldly and personal problems

You look around yourself. What do you find? People racing against other people and the most competitive rival, t.i.m.e to achieve something which actually does not make a lot of sense. Most of them do not even want to be doing what they are involved in right now. They are caught up in a system that has been in place and reamined unquestioned for centuries. Times change. System has to change. Evolution needs a rejig.
Presenting the ideal solution (which hopefully will become legal in the next 10-15 centuries.)
Humano Hiberno Serum - in short, Hi-Hu..
You have a presentation in 30 minutes. You are neither prepared nor interested. What do you do? You are pulling out your hair in agony.
As Douglas Adams would say...Don't panic
Take out your personal package of Hi-Hu..bought through undisclosed sources in an unnamed country. Eat it or inject it or sniff it. Voila. Wait, set the duration for which you want to hibernate. Just repeat it three times..4 days///4 days//4 days..Make sure that you enunciate days as days and not as centuries..you may find yourself the sole mammal when you wake up..
Relax and sleep...
Enjoy..
Imagine a more serious scenario. One country is planning attack on another weaker country. What is the problem if you don't have an nuclear arsenal at your disposal? Hu-Hi will save the day. Hire a helicopter and sprinkle Hu-Hi over the attacking nation. The entire nation will hibernate and your country is saved.
The scientific rationale: The natural ingredients in Hu-Hi stunts the chemicals in the body from being active hence making you immobile but the oxygen supply keeps you alive. It is perfectly safe and harmless.
The only loophole is that no scientist has figured out whether others will remember that you were absent during your presentation. More tests are required to reach to a conclusion. To offer yourself as a guinea human, contact 091-91-91919191919 or email gethigh@huhi.com.